A Presence  / Sue Cabello (Danny N Lacie's Mom )

I spent five night and six days at my Sisters house, this past June. I believe it was the last morning, maybe the next to the last, but I’m almost sure it was the last morning. I was laying there in bed, sleeping. And unlike any of the other mornings, I smelled toast. I thought, my Sister must be up, and she’s making some toast for breakfast. I thought that a little strange, because she doesn’t usually eat anything for breakfast. I think I fell back to sleep for a while. When I did get up Gary was in the living room watching TV, Mickey was upstairs fixing her hair, or something. Gary said, “Did you make the coffee this morning?” I said, no. He said it’s really strange, because when I got up, (Gary is usually the first up), someone had poured the coffee in the top of the pot and pushed the start button. It was just starting to drip through to the pot when I came downstairs. I told him about the toast smells. When my Sister came downstairs, we all talked about it. We decided that one of the kids, Christy or David, must have come in, (Because Gary Checked the locks, and all were in place) and made the coffee.

It’s been almost a week now, so I decided to call my Sister today and find out if they found out who made the coffee. She said, “No, and I guess we’re all thinking the same thing”. Well, Danny, I don’t know what she and Gary are thinking, but I thinking it may have been you. You knew I was there. You knew that breakfast together between you and I was a favorite ritual we had. You knew, the smell of toast, was a comfortable, homey, feeling of love, for me and you. And to make the coffee was something you did many a morning for me. Thank you, Danny for that sign of love, and reassurance. You know when I go back to Kansas to visit everyone, that the time I spend there is so bittersweet for me. I haunt your grave, I dwell on you. My thoughts of you are ever so strong during my time there. I tell everyone, I’m going to go out to Danny’s. And they know that means I’m going to the cemetery. I know, only what was left of your physical form, is there at the cemetery, but, your grave site is the only place, I have to go. I like to go first thing in the morning. Before I do anything else, I want to run out and say good morning to Danny, before I start my day. Tammie and I went for a ride on Sunday morning, and we just naturally came to your grave site. We stood and admired, all the little offerings each of us has left for you. So many little things, each in our own way, leaving a small something, a small thing we think you would like, or something that reminds us of you or means something to you or us. I showed Tammie the little statue, I found at big lots, the one that reminded me of you and Christy, when you two were little and played together always. I bought a little puppy dog solar light to shine on the boy and girl. I hope it makes you think of those times, too. Danny, I just wanted to write and say, I love you, and miss you every single day, and little things like this, well, they mean a lot. Love you, Mom

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Danny's Rose  / Judy Kachanes (friend)

It was a hot, August day when Danny's Rose and I rode down the dusty trail, back to Nebraska. Danny's Rose had just served his life's mission (Danny's Rose is a boy) along with many other comrades, he sat proudly atop the casket holding Danny. Danny had gone to be with Jesus and now came the time his earthly body would be respected and put to rest in the most comforting way possible, comforting not to Danny, Danny was great, and although it was not planned and he never would have chosen it at his young age he was out of the pain and confusion that life brings most of us, he was with Jesus now, but the pain that his passing brought was more than Danny's Mom could bear. She, with a blessing from God, had created this fine, young man. Raised him to be a self sufficient man of honor, who even voluntarily went to serve his country in the U.S. Navy. This is the woman Danny's Rose and his comrades were focussed on, as well as Lacie, his sweet, little sister that had more courage that any could imagine, that she could get up in front of all of us and tell praises to her big brother. Danny knew when he saw this that Lacie would be alright, she had listened to him, and in time she would be fine. Danny had so many family members and friends who would miss him so much, who loved him, and were now lost. "What will we do without Danny?"
Nothing could steal the pain from Danny's Mom, not even the beauty of the roses, but she did admire them, they took her mind away for a few fleeting moments. If she could only be allowed to see what Danny's Rose saw, if she could see that Danny was there, with Jesus, near his Mom, doing everything in his power to comfort her. He hoped she felt this.
As the service came to an end Danny's Mom was pleased to allow her best friend (me) to take with her, Danny's Rose. Danny's Rose had fulfilled his life's goal, to shower his beauty on a loved one who would be so missed. And now he would be filled with Danny's spirit, the spirit of strength and courage. 
Danny's Rose and the lady (his Mom's best friend) had a six hour drive with the sun coming right in on Danny's Rose. But with the spirit of Danny he remained strong and courageous inside an Aquafina bottle of water, what more could he want (?) Maybe some shade. But the lady insisted on keeping him in the front cup holder, next to her so the bottle would not fall over. A regular rose would have never made the trip, they would have withered in the intense heat and sun, but Danny's Rose was now equipped differently than a regular rose. When the lady would reach to secure the bottle holding Danny's Rose at a stop sign or corner she could hear Danny saying, "tell Mom, tell her i'm fine, it's beautiful here and we will be together again, we will." When the lady looked at Danny's Rose she knew he was special because of the messages she felt and her belief was reinforced. Our passed loved ones will be with us, how could they leave completely when we had been so close, when we had so much love.
Danny's Rose only flourished over the next week and then said it was time for him to rest, he did it slowly but his beauty lives on, in the lady's windowsill. She looks at it and she hears Danny, "Judy tell Mom, remind her every opportunity you have of how much I love her and I know she loves me, I will never leave her, she will always my Mommy who loved me like no other mother could, and I know I will never leave her heart or thoughts as she won't mine, until we meet again."

This is to Sue, straight and true, I love you Sugargirl.

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Musing........... / Sue Cabello (Danny N Lacie's Mom )

I'm here at work. Not much going on. Decided to visit my Son's site. If he were alive, when I had down time, I most likely would pickup the phone and give him a call. I miss not being able to do that. Just pick up the phone, dial the numbers, and hear him say, "Hallo". That voice ... his unique way of talking. I'd say, "Hi! What are you doing?" Ah, nuthin. Or maybe he'd say, I'm watchin TV, or takin a nap. Silly unimportant conversations about nothing at all. I miss that.

I look at the pictures of Danny. And I realize just how different Danny was to each person in his life. I knew him in a way that other people did not,  because, well... I'm his Mom. And Lacie, she knew him as a big brother, and as a friend. When he was partin, he would call her, and DEMAND that she come where he was. She knew him in a way no one else ever will, because she is his only baby sister. And Dusty. Probably Dusty knew the true inside Danny better than anyone else, because, not only were they double cousins, but they were friends, they were both guys, and they hung out together. And when Danny felt like talking, I'm sure he shared his outlook on life, his views on the world and his concerns, with his friend Dusty. Most of the boys Danny grew up with were in OKC, and Danny didn't venture out to make knew friends. And Dusty and Danny well, they enjoyed each other company.

I look at the pictures. Danny's smiling, a real smile in nearly all of the pictures. He seems like he went around, just enjoying life. I always wondered and worried about Danny, just like all Mothers do for all of their children. But, I guess I can be satisfied, that Danny was happy in his life. Life wasn't perfect, but then no one's life ever is. It might seem that way to someone on the outside. But everyone has things that could be better. But, Danny had a pretty carefree existence. No responsibilities to speak of. He worked with people he liked to spend time with. Came home and was within walking distance of people he enjoyed being with. Danny never balanced his checkbook. If he wanted something at the store. He walked in and handed them his bankcard, and they either let him have what he wanted, or the card was rejected. In which case he didn't get what he came after. But, that didn’t seem to matter to him. There was another check coming as long as he went to work. 

 

I think of Danny. Good times, Sad times, bad times, happy times, joyous times. Things I regret. Things I wish I could do over. Like playing a game. I want a “do over” sometimes. If we only knew how long we had. But for now. I have this web site. I have family that visits, and it comforts me.

 

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Memorial Day  / Aunt Mickey
We just celebrated Memorial Day, and I couldn't help but think about this time last year.  Grandma Florence's "weinie day" picnic....Danny you were there.  It was right after the car wreck that you, Lacie and Dusty had been in, and you guys had just alittle more than some cuts and bruises.  But you were so worried about Christy, David and Dusty.  I told you they were fine and they would be at the picnic, but you worried about them until you saw them yourself and knew they were OK.  The way you guys care about each other is something I will always cherish.  When you were all little, you were more like brothers and sister, and I don't think that changed much over the years. 
We missed you this year, alot.   Love, Aunt Mickey Close

I miss you  / Christy Speer (cousin)
Danny, this is the first time I'm writing anything on either of your memorial sites, I have visited them often.  It's hard for me to find the words to say.  There's so much I never said to you, like how proud I am of you and how much I love you. I remember in Okla. how much fun we had and how you looked after me, and how you wouldn't let me pay for anything we did, whether it be pool or the movies...And how you let me hang out with you and your friends and treated me like one of the guys, not like the tag-along that I probably was. Thank you!  I think you are the best friend anyone could ever have...I wish I had made more of an effort to stay close with you and your sisters, I regret it now. I"m so glad that you and Dusty stayed close.  I wish I could re-do the last time I talked to you, I wish I would have said the things I want you to know.  We always feel like there's tomorrow and sometimes there's not. And then we regret it for the rest of our lives.  Danny, I want you to know that the thing I admire most about you is the love you have for your family.  The family bond that was  understood.  I hope you know that I understand it too, and am thankful for it.  There are a million stories I could tell but you know them.  And I hope you know how special you are to me. My handsome cousin. I see your picture everyday by my kitchen stove and think of you , and I hope you know how much I will always treasure growing up with you....Your stone is perfect!  Kids in Scammon! I miss you, love, Christy Close

Hello my friend..  / Dusty Groves (Cuzzin)
Hey Danny.  I just found this new site and was checkin it out and thought I'd write you a little bit.  Dude, I miss you a ton.  Most of the time I am busy doin something or other out here, but i'm alwaze thinkin about you.  Most of the time, like on the weekends, I alwaze carry you close to me.  Before me and my buddies go out on the weekends, I alwaze have a few drinks in my room by myself.  I open up my wall locker and sit and look at your picture and article's that I have on the door, and me and you share a few drinks and moments.  Usually they are good moments because i KNOW that you are with me, but sometimes man, it just hurts me.  I feel your spirit with me, and i'm thankful for that.  I know that you are %100 ok with what happened.  We had that talk quite abit.  We talked about the questions with no answers.  It was something that was anticipated.  I think that we both felt that the real trip begins, when our earthly trip ends.  I wish I could have taken the trip with you though.  I tell you what though, when i cash my ticket in, you'd better be the first guy I see to guide me through it.  We are all faced with uncertain wonders about life, but you wonder no more.  I believe you have an important role/job to do, and now you know your true purpose.  I'll be home in a few weeks.  I can't wait to come and visit you.  It's on the very top of my to do list.  The pictures of your site look very, very nice.  I'm sure you are pleased.  Anyhow, I'm gonna come out there, share a few/several Black Tooth Grin's, and try to play that Clutch song that you were alwaze on my ass to learn.  Speakin of Clutch, I got some nice things from the show that I am gonna take out there to ya.  Anywaze dude, I luv ya a lot, and miss you.  Keep near to all of us who love you and remind us often that you are here with us.  Until next time....Cuzzin Dusty Close

Saying hi  / David Groves (cousin)
Hello Danny, I think about you, Trey and Cody everyday.  It's just not the same around here without you guys.  You really touched a lot of lives.  I've always admired you for your ability to enjoy everyday.  I can't recall ever seeing you upset.  You were always laughing and having a good time.  I went and saw your dad the other day.  We had a nice visit.  I'm working midnights now, so I sneak out of town every night and come to the cemetery to see your site.  It's really remarkable.  I pray for your mom, dad, and sisters, and everyone else that you touched.  You are truly one of a kind, and I know how fortunate I am to have been one of the people you touched.  I'll talk to you again soon, David. Close

Part of an E-mail exchange from Dusty.  / Sue Cabello (Danny N Lacie's Mom )
I get on Danny's site every few days or so, I just don't alwaze leave a message.  I like it alot.  Its nice to read from people who actually knew Danny.The Clutch song is called The Regulator.  I'm sending along the lyrics with this email just in case your interested.  Its a pretty cool song.  Danny would alwaze try to get me to learn it because it has a pretty cool acoustic part at the beginning, however, its played on a 12 string guitar so I could never get it to sound quite right.  I have the jist of it down, but it still needs a little work.  I plan on goin out to Edgemond when I come home with some Black Tooth's and try to play it for him.  I'll do my best. Talk to you later.  Luv ya.

LCpl Groves, Dustin J.
USMC

The Regulator

I see that lantern trimmed low burning in our home.
And though I feel like crying, I swear tonight, I'll cry no more.

How many times have I prayed
That I would get lost along the way?

Dream with the feathers of angels stuffed beneath your head.
The regulator's swinging pendulum.

Come with me and walk the longest mile.

Is his wallet leather? Is his wallet fat?
For not a year later it's got you lying on your back.
You should have closed your windows and got another dog.
You should have chained up all the doors and switched up all the locks.

And how many times have I prayed
The angels would speed me away.

Dream with the feathers of angels stuffed beneath your head.
The regulator's swinging pendulum.

Come with me and walk the longest mile.

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E-mail from my friend Kim  / Sue Cabello (Danny's Mom )
This was sent to me by my friend Kim Larson. It express how I feel beautifully.

Your Mother is always with you.

She's the whisper of the leaves as you
walk down the street, she's the smell of
certain foods you remember,
flowers you pick and perfume that she
wore, she's the cool hand on your brow
when you're not feeling well, she's your
breath in the air on a cold winter's day.

She is the sound of the rain that lulls
you to sleep, the colors of a rainbow,
she is Christmas morning.

Your Mother lives inside your laughter.

And she's crystallized in every tear
drop.

A Mother shows every
emotion.....Happiness, sadness, fear,
jealousy, love, hate, anger,
helplessness, excitement, joy,
sorrow....and all the while, hoping and
praying you will only know the good
feelings in life.

She's the place you came from, your first
home, and she's the map you follow with
every step you take.

She's your first love, your first friend,
even your first enemy, but nothing on
earth can separate you.

Not time, not space....not even death!

May We Never Take Our Mothers For
Granted.

"The best and most beautiful things
cannot be seen or touched - they must
be felt with the heart." -Helen Keller-

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What's going on.  / Sue Cabello (Danny N Lacie's Mom )

What's going on. / Sue Cabello (Danny N Lacie's Mom )
Hi Danny. I wonder sometimes if you can see what all is going on down here, or if the concept of seeing us down here is just to, I don't know.....
I guess you most likely know that we are all ok here, that life is going on, and we've learned to deal with our loss. Our not having you as a physical part of our life, now you are in the spiritual part of our lives. I'm sure you don't know details about the little lives we lead here on earth, because I know you don't know sadness, and you don't have pain in heaven. And the silliness, of our lives here on earth, if you knew the details might cause you sadness, or on the other hand I can see where you might find a little humor, in the absurdity of the way lives are lived here on this earth. I know, there are times I do. Humor is a good way to deal with silliness, because, you know, you just can't take life seriously all of the times. And also, it is always better to laugh at the situation, than to cry about it. Crying doesn't help, and laughing, makes me feel good, so mostly, I choose to laugh at the silliness.

But then there are a few things, that aren't silly, things I wish you could know the details of, like Lacie's wedding. It was always her wish that you walk her down the aisle and give her away, for you and I. Lacie has found a compromise, and is having Brad stand in your place. We will set a place for you at the reception, so we don't forget, not even during our happy times, that we would have liked for you to be there. I hope for Lacie's sake and in the sake of your memory that everyone, just for one day, can set aside their own feelings, and unselfishly put Lacie and her wedding first in our thoughts, and that there will be no poor behavior on anyone's part. That is my sincere wish, and I know that, this is what you would want too.
Goodnight My Favorite Son in the whole wide world and the Heavens above. I love you. Mom

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Pal's / Scott Ehle (Sue's Pal )

Sue,
 My dearest friend, I just want you to know what a wonderful person you are. I have a hundred things I would like to say but it's just not the right time yet. I did not know but Danny and I have the same birth day. You and I both lost our baby boy's in the same month and year. I don't like to use the word "lost" but I don't have a better word to use . You know you have not lost Danny he lives in you day and night. Danny's never ending love for his mommy runs through your soul. I pray for you Sue. I pray that God will give you peace. You will someday feel the love of God. You have alot of friends and family that care for you. Thats all for now .
Your Pal, Scott E

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Today / Sue Cabello (Danny N Lacie's Mom )
Hi Daniel. I'm just getting ready to go to bed. Thought I would stop and say goodnight to you. I took a walk after work. Walked around the lake near my house. It's a pretty spot. There's one end where a family of swans were last year, but this year, I see only one swan. It looked lonely. I remember last year, there was a Mother swan and a Daddy swan, and they had three babies. There's a bunch of ducks that live there too, but the swans always kept to that one end, away by themselves. And after the babies were born, and the ducks tried to swim over to where the swan family lived, the Daddy swan would get mad and swim out and make loud noises at the ducks, and chase them away from the mother and the babies. It was very interesting to watch. That family together.

Everything changes. I wonder what happened to the rest of the family. I wonder why now the swan at the lake is alone. 

I miss you. Mom Close

A hamburger  / Sue Cabello (Danny's Mom )
Hi Daniel. Today was a nice day outside. Spring is here. I went for a bike ride and came home and cooked hambugers on the grill. Well, actually Francisco cooked the hamburger while I took a shower. But while I was eating my very tasty hamburger, I thought of you. I was remembering how much you really liked a good hamburger cooked on the grill. I was remembering that we would cook extras so you could microwave them in the days that followed. For some reason hamburgers just taste better when they're cooked outside. On this you and I agree. That's all. I hope you get to enjoy hambugers on the grill still. I love you. Mom Close

I weep  / Judy Kachanes (Danny's friend )
I weep as I read and understand my best friend's pain. Oh Danny, she misses you so much. If I could bring you back for just a day so she could say all she's thought she didn't get a chance to in life, to give you some hugs. But as we know the most important thing you know, there was no doubt of the love my sugar girl has for you. And we know there's still a way for you to continue the connection that has been touched on. If through dreams, through a visit. It can happen if we believe and we ask our mighty Father, oh please God, through the love of your Son Jesus Christ, bring my sugar girl's son to give her comfort, to give her peace. She deserves no less, she was the best kind of mama a boy could have and there was no question about where he stood in her life. 
God Bles my Sue and Lacie. Danny is near. Close

Lacie and I decided......  / Sue Cabello (Danny N Lacie's Mom )
Danny, Lacie and I talked and we decided that we wanted to create a site that she and I could talk to you AND talk to each other on. Like when the three of us lived together.  It was really Lacie's sugestion, and I totally agree. It's wonderful that the people who love you, (not just me and Lacie), but anyone who knew you can come here, and they can write to you, or they can leave a message to anyone else that is active on the site. Like she and I plan to do. We plan to not just leave sad messages to you, but to include you and each other in a conversation. We want to  make it a happy site. A personal site. And I know you like this idea, that you would be pleased. But, in reality, you didn't like to be around strangers, or a bunch of people you didn't know. So the number of people who come here is not important, because your group, the people you considered someone you wanted to spend time with, was really a small amount of people. So I am so excited about this site, and I hope you are to. I started it, but we all know Lacie will be the one who knows how to do the "Stuff" that needs to be done. So step by step, ever so slowly, Lacie and I will create this site, for you, me, her, and for all the people who know you, and us. So everyone out there please feel free to send your ideas to us. Any and all help is welcome. The only requirement is that you know Danny, or Lacie, or Me. 

Goodnight my children. Love you, Mom. Close

HEEEELLLLLOOOOO / Lacie
hello, i just thought i would drop bye and see how things are going for the both of you. I will edit the site when i get some free time. I just moved and im working alot, you know how that goes but i will get back on later ok. Talk toy ou later. Love you guys Close

Hey Danny  / Lacie Groves (Lil' Sis )
Hey danny, i know i havnt wrote to you in a while, doesnt mean i dont think of you but you already knew that. I work alot and im about to start working even more. Im gettin married, i wish youcould be here, well i know you are but you know what i mean. Anyways, his name is brennen i think you would like him. He reminds me of u a little, in the sence that u ahve some things in common. He loves to weld and stuff liek that. Mom and i spent the weekend togeather we talked about you alot. Oh jsut so u know im having Brad and Dad walk me down the aisl. I think that is how u would have wanted it done. And me as well. Brad is goig to represent you. It will be beautiful. i know your like it. WEll you car is fianlly fixed and legal so you ride with me when i go drive around town. Well i need to get off here so i can go to work, of im going to go back to school here is a year or so and jsut ion case u were wondering im gettin married Sep 23 of this year. Mark it down so u dont forget and dont be late ok, I lvoe you and miss you, Bye Danny Close

torpedo / Lacie Groves (Danny's Lil' Sis )
Mom, i jsut got done reading about how you were talking about me and danny and the swimming pool. the thing that we used to chase for hours and hours was called a torpedo. That thing was so muhc fun. You know what else is funny, i was just telling someone the other day about how me and danny used to surf on thoses rafs adn you would get really really mad at us but we didint care. I loved doing that stuff with him. We did so many things togeather adn i have so many great memories of him. Like when we went to visit oklahoma and we to the concert wiht brad kie and pj, that was so muhc fun. I went to anohter concert a while back and it was a band that danny really really liked and in fact we had them play and dustys party. Sound and the furey was the name of the badn. I got them to sign a cd for danny and im going to take it out to him wtih a kansas city cheifs mug that we got for him for his birthday (mom remember that mug)

well i guess im going to end this thing for now, i love you danny and i always will. you are forever close to my heart. Love always your little sister Close

The snake  / Sue Cabello (Danny's Mom )

Oh Danny, I wanted to write about your little snake skin that the girls found for me amoung your things , but the girls found it the first day, and Cassandra called me at work to tell me. Do you know what that meant to me? The little snake skin. In the little white box. It's there, and you kept it all of these years. It must be twenty years old. It's priceless to me. Oh Danny. I miss you so. As soon as I found out it was there, i went to people in my office and I told them. They probably thought I was crazy, to be so excited about a little snake skin. But to me... It' s proof of something you and I shared. And proof that what we did together meant something to you. For why else would you keep it for all of these years?
I love you Danny. Goodnight. Mom

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Ridiculous / Sue Cabello (Danny's Mom )
Dearest Dearest Danny. How ridiculous is life sometimes? How pointless, and meaningless are the things in life sometimes? We live our life, and we should, and I know some people do, try to do good in this world. To maybe make a difference in someone elses life. In some small way maybe we could make that person's life easier, just by one small act of kindness. Some silly thing, like I was talking to my Sister about. And you know, she told me that she never locks her car. Because if someone steals the things in her car maybe they needed the things more than she did. It's a small thing, but it means something. It shows a generouse heart, a person who holds people more important than things. That looks beyond the act, to what may be behind it. And it shows a way of looking at life, in a different way. She's a wise Woman, and I have great admiration, and respect for her.  That is why I can't understand your Father sometimes. Your Sisters wanted to have some of your things and your dad, he just wouldn't share. The girls they wanted something, anything just some small things, that they just wanted, to hold in thier hands, to help them remember you, feel close to you when they were sad and missing you. Some silly things that would give them, their Son's, something to remember you by, things that don't have monetary value. just things that would bring them comfort. And i can't understand why? Why couldn't the small silly things be shared? Shared with a generous heart.Remember that your Sisters and I love you. And I honestly want whatever will make them happy. Please try to understand that. Goodnight Danny. Love, Mom Close